Obama: ‘Hillary Will Fight To Protect My Legacy, Even The Truly Detestable Parts’

PHILADELPHIA—Emphasizing the former secretary of state’s competence and tenacity during his Democratic National Convention address Wednesday night, President Barack Obama praised Hillary Clinton as someone who would work tirelessly to defend and advance the legacy he had built, even the “truly repugnant parts.” “Secretary Clinton is a driven and brilliant leader who will do everything in her power to preserve what we’ve accomplished over the last eight years, even when those accomplishments were vile and frightening and actively eroded our faith in the inherent morality of this country,” said Obama, adding that Clinton was extremely qualified to continue expanding access to health care and pursuing renewable energy, as well as authorizing extralegal drone strikes against presumed combatants, including American citizens, in sovereign nations across the globe. “Whether it’s strengthening environmental protections or keeping Guantanamo Bay in operation well into the next decade, Hillary is a leader who will continue pursuing the best and worst of this administration’s work. When you vote for her this November, you can be confident knowing you’re electing a president who will strive to rid our world of nuclear weapons, increase grants to low-income college students, make sure that whistleblowers are increasingly afraid to come forward with information about illegal government programs that violate citizens’ rights, and boost automotive fuel efficiency standards.” Obama added that Clinton had already proved her mettle as secretary of state by helping lead the country’s forward-looking and widely lauded “Pivot to Asia” foreign policy initiative while simultaneously advocating for America’s disastrous military intervention in Libya.

Read more at: theonion.com