Thursday, September 08, 2016 by newsparody
WASHINGTON—Saying he got butterflies in his stomach the minute he learned they’d both be involved in drafting the legislation, congressman Jerry Bremner (R-NC) told reporters Tuesday he was excited to be working on a bill with an intern he has a huge crush on. “I’ve liked her for a long time, but I just haven’t had a good excuse to strike up a conversation, so working together on this project will be perfect,” said Bremner of the 21-year-old University of Michigan junior, adding that to this point, he had only awkwardly mumbled hello the handful of times he had bumped into her around the Capitol Building. “I should make sure I do a bunch of research so it’s clear I know my stuff. I’ll never forgive myself if I look stupid in front of her.” Sources later confirmed that Bremner was mentally berating himself after their first meeting for coming across like a total weirdo.
Read more at: theonion.com