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presidential debate

10/19/2016 / By newsparody

Mephistopheles4U hacks strategies for upcoming presidential debate

Renowned hacker Mephistopheles4U has not only hacked into the candidates’ strategies for the upcoming debate, he’s also into the emails of Mr. Lester Holt, the first moderator. Article by Joseph K. Winter Mr. Holt has been reviewing moderator performance over the decades and studying whether he is obliged to call out falsehoods or let them […]

09/29/2016 / By newsparody

Bill Clinton Resting Up To Sit Upright At Next Debate

CHAPPAQUA, NY—Stating that the former commander-in-chief had his sights squarely set on next Sunday, spokespeople for the Hillary for America campaign informed reporters Wednesday that Bill Clinton is currently resting up in preparation for another evening of sitting upright at the next presidential debate. “President Clinton put in a strong showing on Monday, sitting erect […]

09/27/2016 / By newsparody

Open-Minded Voter Waits Almost 5 Minutes Into Debate To Decide Who Won

NEW LONDON, CT—Giving both nominees an equal opportunity to make their case, open-minded voter Jeremy Holcomb, 36, reportedly waited almost five minutes into Monday night’s presidential debate to decide which candidate had won. “Hillary brought her A-game tonight, and it’s pretty easy to see that she scored a clear victory over Trump,” said the thoughtful […]

09/22/2016 / By newsparody

Blindfolded Clinton Invites Debate Coaches To Attack Her With Talking Points From All Sides

NEW YORK—Standing slightly crouched with her fists raised up in front of her in the middle of her campaign office’s mock stage, a blindfolded Hillary Clinton reportedly implored her high-level staffers to attack her with talking points from all sides Wednesday in preparation for next week’s first presidential debate. “Let’s do this—I want all of […]

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